Sublime and Ridiculous: Archive

Mar 16th

Reality sinks in

Me: For some reason the idea that we'll actually be married and I can get on your insurance seems really weird.
Borfy: Ha!
Me: Dude, I'm going to be your wife! You'll talk to strangers and refer to "my wife!"
Borfy: I know!
Me: THAT'S CRAZY!
Neil: I know!

Feb 26th

Watch

Kittens, inspired by kittens on Yahoo! Video

Feb 17th

Feb 16th

Well, okay then.

Her: Biachestos
Me: Excuse me?
Me: BTW, I've had 2 dreams in the past 2 weeks that you were in jail.
Her: I dont know what 2blehbkeh
Me: Okay, get back to me when you're sober.
Her: No

Feb 16th

For Lent I’m giving up not having sex.

Feb 16th

I find Borfy’s urologist weirdly attractive. Our mutual interest in Borfy’s penis, however, makes it a complicated attraction.

Feb 10th

Feb 8th

366 notes

Feb 6th

Feb 5th

For some reason I really want these glasses: And this hair: I’m pretty sure I’d only want this look for about a month, so I doubt I will invest the money or effort into it. But I do think I will do something fun and weird with my hair this summer (after the wedding - I don’t need to give my mother anything else to get hysterical about). Especially if I go back to school in...

Feb 5th

49 notes

Tiger Beatdown › The Edward Cullen Underpants... →

This is an awesome analysis of objectification and the Twilight phenomenon. (Also? Robert Pattinson might be kind of cool.)

Feb 4th

“There are several anti-Apple people on my Twitter/FB. I don’t get it....”

– Me

Jan 27th

1 note

Borfy's toenails

Me: Are you snorting coke with those?

Borfy: I'm playing classical guitar.

Jan 23rd

Jan 22nd

This is my wedding dress: And this is Amanda Palmer at the Golden Globes: Awesome.

Jan 22nd

Jan 20th

I was going to make vegetable korma for dinner but I didn’t because I was busy having sex.

Jan 19th

Cool Tools: Psolar.Ex Cold Weather Face Mask →

I think this would go a long way toward making outdoor winter exercise more tolerable for me, but it’s terrifying-looking. Couldn’t they make them in some fun colors, at least? Look at this: And tell me you don’t think of this: Mmmmhmm.

Jan 18th

Borfy: I am the Joey Chestnut of pussy-eating.

Me: That is the grossest thing I have ever heard.

Jan 16th

Idea: Saks Fifth Ave could have a line of socks called Soks.

Jan 15th

Jan 14th

Me: What was that one Shirley Temple movie with the paper soldiers and her father was missing and she lived in some school or something with really bitchy girls?

Borfy: Fuck if I know!

Jan 14th

“Your butt was an EPA Superfund site.”

– Borfy, commenting on a particularly bad bout of gas I had last week

Jan 13th

11 notes

Jan 13th

I’m not at all surprised by its existence, but I have to say that I have a hard time wrapping my head around Edward/Jacob slash.

Jan 13th

“Writing to ‘get it right the first time’ is like driving a car with the...”

– Joan Bolker (via merlin)

Jan 13th

541 notes

Edward Cullen Embryo Twilight New Moon by Feti on... →

Twilight fetuses. For serious.

Jan 12th

My New Pink Button →

This is FUCKED UP. Excuse me while I go stab someone!

Jan 12th

Jan 11th

Sometimes I feel like I might want to be a mom someday and sometimes (most times, actually) I don’t, but I feel absolutely 100% certain that I do not want to be pregnant. Which is not to say that I won’t ever get pregnant, because I sort of like the idea of mixing up my DNA with Borfy’s and seeing what we get (besides a little dork with bad hair, bad skin, bad vision, and a...

Jan 11th

I had a great dream the other night that I was at a showing of a film adaptation of a Nabokov novel (I don’t know which one) and both Vlad and Vera were there. They were both very friendly, which I’m sure is quite unrealistic, but it was an awesome dream. In other news, I am frustrated by the fact that Tumblr doesn’t support comments, because sometimes I really have something to...

Jan 11th

Ex-governor Blagojevich: 'I'm blacker than Barack... →

Amazing.

Jan 11th

In addition to Jason, the Ooo ah ah kid, I can think of a couple of other sexually precocious boys I went to elementary school with. (And I’m sure this is nothing compared to today’s elementary schoolers, but this was the relatively innocent time of the mid-to-late 80s.) In first grade PE, a kid named Nate said to me, very matter-of-factly, that he wanted me to “come to [his]...

Jan 11th