Sublime and Ridiculous

In addition to Jason, the Ooo ah ah kid, I can think of a couple of other sexually precocious boys I went to elementary school with. (And I’m sure this is nothing compared to today’s elementary schoolers, but this was the relatively innocent time of the mid-to-late 80s.)

In first grade PE, a kid named Nate said to me, very matter-of-factly, that he wanted me to “come to [his] house, undress, and have sex.” I’m not sure I knew what that meant, but I told on him, and he had to go talk to the guidance counselor.

In second or third grade there was a kid named Todd who had a thing for girls in tights. Or, more specifically, for the tights. When he could get away with it, he would sit next to girls in tights and rub their legs, saying he liked the feeling of the fabric. You KNOW that kid has a stocking fetish now.

And, not to be outdone, I once asked my mom where I could get the manual for manual masturbation because I was concerned I wasn’t doing it right.